18 Days of Summer #7
Today was a random day to be in the middle of our holiday, but last week my friend passed away and his wife asked me to sing a song he loved me singing at the funeral. I loved William, he used to call me his adopted daughter. He died suddenly whilst in hospital waiting for them to attend to him at the age of 57. I had tried to practice last week and just ended up in floods of tears, so on the morning of the funeral I decided to try and practice again. It’s a song that William who was a preacher would have me sing night after night about a decade ago when he was preaching every night at a church in Blackpool. This was the church that they were holding the funeral at. I knew it would be strange to be back in that building, singing that song at William’s funeral. It’s a song I knew back to front and inside out even a decade later. I spent the morning singing (Nana sorted the children’s breakfasts, just crumpets that morning) and then getting ready. My mum was going to have the children for me, I realised four on her own was a bit harsh as I had no idea how long we would be (I had to be there early to set up etc.), so we took Eden with us, she’s never any trouble and if James needed to go out of the main room with her, he could.
The weather was terrible so my Mum was just staying in with the other three. The girls understood what I was going to do and didn’t mind it interrupting their holiday (bless them). Lots of kisses, cuddles and off set James, Eden and I.
Was really bizarre arriving there, William’s son Adam, just a child when I last saw him, had been recently ordained in the Summer (his Dad was there to see that – ‘proudest day of his life’) and was leading the funeral. He was giving the eulogy, along with William’s boss, he was also preaching, and when we arrived he was sorting out the words onto the overhead projector and sorting out the sound desk. Shocked to see him there so early and to realise how much he was doing (instead of coming later with the family) I took over putting the words into the computer program, and Keith and I started to sort out the sound for our music, and made sure everything else they needed was working.
I kept my mind busy for the hour and a half that followed before the funeral commenced. Sang my little heart out, and then went outside to have a little weep. Strangely though, I don’t weep for the loss of William. I believe I know where he has gone and that he will be at peace now, but seeing his wife and daughter (who was my friend years ago, we just lost contact when she got married – they are Romany Gypsy’s and have very strong culture, her role was to stay in the home, look after her husband and have children) was the reason I wept. I know we do not weep as those who have no hope as we believe we’ll see him again, but for those left behind it is hard as life adjusts.
I was exhausted when we got back from our little walk, with the emotional strain of the day, but dinner still needed to be made so off I went to the shop to get some mince. I had planned to make chilli, it was a cold day so this seemed fitting. In times like this I am grateful for the meal planner as it helps me to not have to make choices when I’m tired. They all enjoyed the chilli and rice, then had some game time with Grandad before having a bath and going to bed.
Although today wasn’t the ideal ‘holiday’ day for the children, they had fun and what can I say? This is real life, and life doesn’t stop, it keeps going and situations happen. I was pleased to be around the area to make it so accessible for us to continue our holiday and still be able to sing.
Tomorrow we’re taking Grandad out for a delayed birthday breakfast as we were busy with church festivities when they organised an impromptu dinner a fortnight ago. Looking forward to that.