The Ordinary Moments #5 – From Four to Two
Having the girls for 20 days straight in what started out as our 18 Days of Summer series was really lovely. It completely pulled me out of a rut. I had been struggling with many things, routine, eating habits, getting out and about, feeling down due to bad health and lacking motivation to do things as I don’t really live in the centre of a cultural melting pot. Being with all our beautiful children together for a long time in a ‘holiday’ season meant that I needed to pull myself together. This was about giving the children an epic Summer Holiday and not just slacking because we hadn’t been able to afford to go stay anywhere other than with family. The pressure was on (in a good way) to find things to do each day. even if it was just something little like take a walk around the lake.
As you may have seen from my ‘Saying Goodbye‘ post the girls were collected by their Mum on Wednesday and the house was left eerily quiet. I am just trying to adjust to normality now that we are back home. James is going to job interviews left, right and centre and is still doing his driving lessons which mean he’s out of the house a lot and I am back to running him around whilst we try and get some future financial stability sorted. I started my monthly Thursday, (apologies for the information) at the moment this seems to be a huge deal, since having Eden I can only compare this monthly horror to when I have miscarried. I nearly called an ambulance the first time as the pain was so terrible and I thought I was hemorrhaging. This made me really angry *chuckles*, us women are funny, I have been having monthly’s since I was I don’t know 12 apart from when I was pregnant, and I can’t say I’ve often resented having them. I always say to the girls when they ask questions (as they see me and their Mum in pain at times) that it is a good thing that means our bodies are able to have babies when we are ready and want to. I just was so angry that I’d just got home and was ready to get back into the swing of sorting out our ‘normal’ routine and sort out all the housework/washing etc. as we’d been gone 3 weeks and here I am laid in bed in agony wanting to get on with all I can see around me. It was too close to how I felt when I was pregnant and bed bound and it made me frustrated. I poured myself a gin and slimline tonic and decided to get on with stuff despite the doubled over agony.
I won’t bore you with any more details about all this, as I guess it lends itself to another post, which I will write about ‘breastfeeding and bleeding’, the options the doctors have presented me with and whether I should stop feeding to just be able to (in theory) carry on through my monthly’s as normal without interrupting children’s routine and feeling like I need to be in bed as I am completely wiped out.
This post is about my little two. The two that are always here, the two that don’t leave and come back each week. How I need to be for them. It is so easy to step up when the girls are around as they are older and I know that they need stimulation that is more than just the television or an iPad. I am realising that it is not good enough, to by default, step it down a notch, when I ‘just have’ Judah and Eden. Feels bizarre saying ‘just have’ – two babies is still plenty handful enough, in fact sometimes harder because I don’t have the girls input to entertain them, which they are great at doing.
I want to start a better routine for my little two. James will soon be at work, and my WAHM life needs to find it’s balance again, with teaching, blogging, and getting myself into better shape so that there can be longevity in what we do. I have been making sure that we find things to do as it will mainly be myself and the two babies in the week. Even if the girls lived here full-time this would still be the scenario as Shayla will be starting school next week.
I want to create a routine that I can stick to, I am a creature of habit and booking things in like swimming lessons, volunteering my administration skills at church, messy play, craft time and even just cuddles need to be planned so that we don’t end up just doing nothing all day. One thing I love about blogging, and especially blogging for the children is that it inspires me to want to do and be more for the children. This is not about keeping up with the Jones’ as goodness knows I couldn’t if I tried, but seeing all the great craft ideas, and even just the planning I do that goes into posts, makes me more conscious of the planning we put into time with the children.
The girls routine is pretty full on at the weekends when they are here. Dance, church, and we’re looking into swimming lessons once James is earning. We aim to spend time together as a family too and keep that sacred when they don’t have something scheduled in. I want to make sure the babies have a great schedule too whilst maintaining rest time, not just nap-time, for us to just ‘be’ as a family too.
I have enjoyed just pottering around trying to get the house straight whilst making sure the babies are happy too. It is helpful now Eden likes crawling around and finding toys to play with. I thought it would make my life harder and in a few months when she’s walking around I guess it may, but so long as I make sure the floor is clean of things she can put in her mouth and choke on, they’re good at entertaining themselves whilst I potter around them. Judah and I bought some play-doh the other day and I’m excited to do this with him, infact I may just break it out this afternoon and see what he wants to create. At the moment he loves monsters, dragons and dinosaurs. So funny, typical boy.
I am looking forward to our new ‘ordinary’ and ‘normal’ routine. I love them so much, I have given up a lot in my personal life recently as the balance was not working and I realised the children and James come first. This season will seem so short once the babies are both at school and I will be sad if I didn’t embrace it and do the best that I can in the ‘now’ that I have been blessed with.
Excited for many more ‘ordinary moments’ in the future….