Fraud, Failure, Focused?
So, life has been really difficult the last few weeks and for those that follow my blog normally you may have noticed holes in the usual series’ that I partake in.
When I was pregnant with Eden I stopped blogging as I was so depressed (hormones) it would’ve just been the most miserable blog ever. I have noticed the same pattern the last three weeks. I really don’t want to stop blogging, I want to be continuing especially with the linkys that I love being part of. I was so deliberate with the blogs that I wanted to write and my purpose for blogging this time around that I have felt like a complete failure for being unable to keep up with some.
Our ‘Me and Mine’ portrait this month for example, I was so disappointed that we didn’t manage to have a picture to post at the end of the month. I was just far too unwell and then this week when I was finally in a place where I could travel somewhere to grab a snap (one where I’ve at least managed to brush my hair) it wasn’t our days to have the girls. So we’re now waiting to get the photo this weekend.
I don’t want to pretend that life is always perfect on the blog, far from it, I just have always been taught that if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything. So when I’ve been struggling with feeling low because I was unwell, then the children unwell, then me again. I just didn’t want to be writing about it. I also didn’t want to just write about the positives and pretend the bad wasn’t happening as I don’t want it to be an untruthful representation of life.
I guess this is where I am still figuring out my creative voice on our blog. I have lots of exciting news to report and am looking forward to sitting down with the laptop properly now that my head can think clearly and write about all the great things that are happening in our lives. At the moment I am sat at the dentist surgery waiting to have my wisdom tooth out as it is very heavily filled (thank you pregnancy for the constant sugar cravings and the hyperemesis for not being able to brush the back teeth properly without throwing up). They knew when they filled it, it may create problems but it was worth a try to avoid extraction.
As an ex dental nurse I am well aware this problem could’ve been avoided had I been more vigilant, but when you become a new mum, self-care tends to go out of the window, there were days I was lucky if I’d managed to get dressed and brush my hair. Not saying I don’t brush my teeth *ewww* it’s the first thing I do in the morning, I just could’ve been better at flossing, making sure I cleaned the gaps at the back properly to avoid food packing. Should’ve laid off the sugar but I didn’t. When I wanted energy I went straight for the fizzy stuff. Not good for the teeth or the waist line.
I have a baby that is about to turn one next week and is not happy at all for me to be typing on the laptop without wanting to join in with me. I have a husband that I hardly see and it doesn’t seem right to be sat blogging all evening when he is home, although I know he doesn’t mind. He is gracious like that. It’s just difficult when I’m behind with things that are important (like washing, cleaning) to be sat blogging. I could’ve been up to date with blogging the amount of time I was stuck unwell in bed but as I said I didn’t want it to be sad blogs and I’ve never been good at being fake. What you see is always what you get, and I try to be more gracious with this when it comes to being a parent. I am definitely learning this skill, I have become older and wiser over the years, but could definitely always use some more wisdom. Well, couldn’t everyone?
It took me over a week and two sittings to finish this blog and I will be aiming to get back on track with the blogging, it just isn’t as much of a priority as some other things are in my life right now as you can imagine.
We have started trialling ‘Infantis’ from Bio-Kult and I’m hoping that we will all inherit stomachs of steal as a result and be able to avoid so many bouts of illness going forward. Look out for the review it will be coming once we have been using it for a while.