Me & You {January}

Me & You {January}

Me & You January, dontcallmestepmummy, family portrait project, blended family, couples, mummy blog

Last night James and I had our first official ‘Date Night’ probably since before Eden was born, and if you’ve recently read my Happy Fourteen Months Eden, then you know it’s been a while.  We have had some Zizzi vouchers since July that we were given from my parents to celebrate James’ graduation, and we just hadn’t gotten around to actually going and spending them.  I recently donated £3 to Cancer Research via a twitter campaign and I won £40 of you’ve guessed it, Zizzi’s vouchers.  So we had £60 of Zizzi’s vouchers.  We needed to try and make a trip.  The closest one to us is in the Trafford Centre, and December was so hectic, also, the beginning of January with the sales, we figured it was best to wait until it would be quieter to head there to spend our vouchers.  We had intended to go with the children at some point, but with my Mum having the babies overnight on Monday’s we decided we would make a go for it.

I have so many silly battles in my mind due to being postnatal that I nearly cancelled it about 20 times in the space of 15 minutes whilst I was trying to get ready before going to pick my hubby up.  I am so frustrated with my weight, that it just felt ironic to go and eat out when I’m battling with food.  I also couldn’t find a bra with wire in it, those of you who are breastfeeding or have breastfed will understand.  A maternity/nursing bra just doesn’t cut it when you’re trying to dress up.  I nearly gave in to so many excuses in my head, but then it dawned on me.  I manage to pull myself together when I need to be somewhere that the children need me to be.  If there’s a social engagement, I mostly manage to pull myself together to attend, I sometimes drag myself to church kicking and screaming, not because I don’t enjoy it, just because depressed people don’t usually want to be around people, especially people who know you and can tell if something’s up.  Also, I HATE being the black cloud in a room when I’m having a low day, so I tend to keep myself to myself.  I realised, very rarely do I ‘step up’ for my husband.  We stay in most of the time because we can’t afford financially at the moment to be going out, but also, I cancel so many of ‘our’ plans, usually under the guise of ‘he understands.’  You know what?  He does understand, and he is so patient with me and has been over the last well, nearly 2 years really, I was horrendously depressed throughout Eden’s pregnancy due to being bed bound.  I decided, I was going to pull myself together for the man that I love and make an effort for HIM.  It made me feel sad, that I’d never had this revelation sooner and that I should do this more often.

You know how it is ladies, I had a shower, blow dried my hair, shaved my legs (luxuries that just don’t happen with the babies around unless they have swimming lessons) and I put on some make-up, perfumed body lotion and headed in the car to pick up my man from work.  The constant battles in my mind that entire time were ridiculous, but I made it.  I put on our ‘love songs’ playlist on my Spotify and began to remember our wedding day etc. and think about the man that I had married.

The traffic was horrendous when I collected him so we had a good sing song in the car, my voice was exceptionally warmed up and I decided to give it a vocal work out and stuck on some Mariah.  For those who don’t know, I’m a vocal coach by trade.  I was singing along to ‘Thank God I found You’ and I got choked up.  I know, cheesy right?  But, I probably haven’t listened to that song for YEARS.  It made me remember my past and how blessed I was to have found this man, when I was in such a state before that.  (If you don’t know what I’m talking about then read my Life As a Domestic Violence Survivor post, or Our Complicated History).

Some of the lyrics that I found myself choking up on were :

‘I would give up everything
Before I’d seperate myself from you
After so much suffering
I finally found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heartache would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life…

See I was so desolate before you came to me
Looking back
I guess it shows that we were destined
To shine over the rain to appreciate
The gift of what we have
And I’d go through it all over again
To be able to feel
This way’

As cheesy as it may sound I just took the time in that moment to feel gratitude for this man in my life who loves me, puts up with allsorts and has supported me through so much.  I was excited to be going out for a meal with him.

When we arrived I was having problems with my hips, they still play up since Eden’s pregnancy especially when it’s cold.  I was in a lot of pain walking from the carpark to the restaurant but I would not be deterred.  James kept asking if I was up to it, but I wasn’t turning back now, we’d come so far, also, it tends to ease once I’ve been moving around for a while.

We had a lovely meal.  It was delicious, it was really nice to have the vouchers and just be able to choose whatever we wanted and not worry about cost.  I made a conscious decision to not go on my phone and apart from snapping pics of our food each time a course appeared, I stuck to it.  I wanted to just drink in this time that was so rare for us.  We chatted about allsorts, I learned that James had given up alcohol a week prior.  As someone who rarely drinks anyway, it won’t really affect our lives in any way, but some things that he had seen at work (he’s a social worker who works in a hospital) had made him realise he just didn’t want it anymore.  He didn’t enjoy it enough to endure the potential risks.  I felt a bit sad that he had made this decision a week prior and I didn’t know.  We need to take the time to chat more about things for sure.

We asked the waiter to snap a photo for us as it was such a momentous day, our first Date Night since … well, we couldn’t remember…

Me & You January, dontcallmestepmummy, family portrait project, blended family, couples, mummy blog, zizzis, date night

I’m excited to be doing this project together this year.  I’m looking forward to having a reminder to spend quality time with my hubby at least once a month.  We enjoyed setting the tripod up and taking pictures on the beach despite being freezing haha.  The dog walkers and joggers going past were smiling at us.  We must’ve looked crazy.  I’m excited for 2015 and pleased to be working on the romance in our marriage again.
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Me & You badge, dontcallmestepmummy, family portrait project, blended family, couples, mummy blog

8 thoughts on “Me & You {January}

  1. Wow you shaved your legs?! He’s a lucky man! Don’t tell my husband that others women do this…
    Well done for going out, I know how hard it is to even leave the house sometimes when you’re feeling low so good for you and I’m glad you had some time to reconnect.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a beautiful post and lovely to see such a great strong relationship and bond between you too. I love that even though Lucy isn’t doing the Me & You anymore so many are continuing on and sharing their posts. They are lovely to read. Love the photos too. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

    Liked by 1 person

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