Between the Blogging
So much has been happening for us lately… I don’t know why I do this but when there is a lot of change or big decisions sometimes I tend to avoid blogging. I stopped blogging when I was extremely depressed and pregnant with Eden and I have stopped recently for no reason at all…. I seemed to miss some of my link ups, even though I had so much to write about and then… just felt out of the loop very quickly and stopped blogging.
I sprained my ankle a few weeks ago and it’s been frustrating not being able to take the children out and about. I think because of when I was depressed and bed bound whilst pregnant, when I’m not as mobile it brings back those memories and I start to feel down. This is because… I’m bored… I’m stuck in… I want to take my children out to enjoy the sunshine but money has been extremely tight (more than usual because we are clearing some debts we’ve accumulated whilst James was studying) and now that James takes the car for work, it’s not so easy to go out and about with a sprained ankle and little money.
You’d think being bored I would’ve been blogging more, but I don’t want to write about negative things, not because I don’t want our blog to represent real life, I do, I know life isn’t always rosey, but also when I know it isn’t going to change for a while I don’t want to dwell on the present circumstance.
Writing this now I realise there were many positive things that I could’ve been blogging about, I should have set myself the challenge to focus on the positive and write about those things… goodness knows there have been many. The girls were involved in a charity fashion show and were astounding. I have finally seen a doctor and started a course of antidepressants which has resulted in my starting the process of HUGELY decluttering our home. I am definitely back to my normal self and that has been great. James is up for another promotion, I am looking at starting a job and have an interview next week… we’ve made a MASSIVE decision regarding the children’s schooling after seeing everyone’s joys and heartaches last week as primary school allocations were given… there has been so much going on… it almost makes no sense I chose not to blog about it.
I guess the truth is, we’ve been so busy doing, and I wanted to know that I was just doing it, for me and my family and not so I had something to blog about, which is an easy trap to fall into sometimes. Especially when my PND was at it’s worst and I was forcing myself to take the children out to do something because I knew I should but I had NO desire to do ANYTHING.
So, if you’re an avid reader, or one of my most treasured blog followers I thank you for your patience but also please know that there will be many things unfolding in the near future, and I have many things to catch up on. Some of these things you may not be interested in, but I come back again to the reason that I blog and that is so that we can have a record of what our lives were like, and so our blended family can stay connected the days in the week that we aren’t all together.
I am so blessed by our children all the time… they astound me… and I feel so grateful for our lives and health, we have had a really tough few years (not to complain I know others go through much worse) and it feels nice to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t expect things to ever be easy for us, they just never seem to be, it always is a battle to achieve anything in our lives, but I don’t regret that either because it’s about the journey, and man am I changing and learning a lot along the way. Learning to be a better Mum (I hope), definitely learning patience, to be a better wife and hopefully a better person in the process…. this is a journey I know I will be on until the day I breathe my last breath. Right now we are still in a rainy season but we are definitely over the worst of this particular storm and I feel really grateful every day.