Potty Training the boy #4 – regression

Potty Training #4 – regression

look at that teary face, let's say the wet patch is from the crying shall we?
look at that teary face, let’s say the wet patch is from the crying shall we?

Ok, so I was feeling really pleased that we seemed to have gotten over the worst of the potty training, but the last few days, I guess things have been hectic and we’ve not been as focused on Judah. Today is day 18 of our 18 Days of Summer and it has been pretty full on for him as opposed to when we just spend most of our day pottering around at home and he has a bare bum and his potty around all the time.

He has done so well this last week considering we forgot to bring a potty down with us and he’s been going on the toilet but we have had more accidents in this last few days than we’ve had since we started put together.  Not that it’s a lot, there are still more successes than accidents, but in comparison to how he was doing, definite regression.  Today I bought a little step for him from Babylove in Worthing, they have lovely clothes and a great selection of all sorts of accessories, everything you could need for babies and toddlers.  Although Judah was having a little strop because I wouldn’t buy him another pair of wellies (to be honest, I would’ve bought him them had he not been tantrumming and asked nicely) and they didn’t have a time machine for me to fast forward to when he’s four, so they don’t have everything you could want, but most things *winks*.

I’m hoping with a little step to help him be able to just take himself to the loo now that this will be helpful, also in a couple of days we’ll be travelling home and we’ll be able to resume his normal routine.  He has loved this time with his sisters and I will be so sad for him when they go back to the ‘other mummy’s’ especially as he won’t then see them for a week.  We will have to keep him very busy, but I guess it will hopefully allow us the time to reestablish routine.

Regression is not a negative thing, it just means that your toddler has taken a step back in their routine with toilet training.  This can be for many reasons, for us it has blatantly been the disruption in routine and moving location a few times in the last couple of weeks.  I am sure that once the holiday season is over we will be back on track.  I am still immensely proud by how well he is doing.  Today we had no accidents all day and we had been out at soft play and perusing shops.  So, when we’re vigilant I know that we can make it a more successful journey for him.
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Potty Training the boy #3 – holidays

Potty Training the boy #3

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 This week Judah has done amazingly, I wasn’t sure how to do the whole potty training whilst out and about.  I think I care too much sometimes about what people think.  I worry about offending people, or more to the point about them potentially staring and pulling their face at me and especially my children.  I chose to forget about posts I’d seen on facebook, or things I may have seen in the media, the Katie Hopkins of this world, although I find her vile, I would worry about the people who agree with her opinions and how they may be disgusted with how I choose to raise my children.  Well, boo I say, boo to them all.  I thought back to how we did it with Shayla-Rae, and thought, yep, we’re just going to take the potty out with us.
I can count on one hand and with some fingers to spare the amount of accidents that we’ve had all week.  To be fair when we did have accidents it was just down to him being tired and forgetting.  If I spotted him concentrating and looking like he may be doing the dreaded number that comes after one, and say ‘Judah do you need the potty?’, ‘oh yeah’ comes the reply followed by a swift move to the potty.
I don’t know how it will continue as we go down South next week and it’s another new environment, but part of me feels that if we crack it there, after we cracked it at home and now at my parents, then he’s pretty much sorted apart from not always dry at night yet, but we’ve just been putting a nappy on him for bed.  He wakes up, takes it off himself and then goes on the potty, so I’m not too fussy about pushing him to be dry at night.  It will come naturally when he’s ready, 7/10 nights he is at the moment anyway, just can never be too sure.  I definitely don’t trust him enough yet with his lovely mattress at stake.

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sat watching something on the iPad whilst on the potty…hmm…. who does he remind me of?

Potty Training the boy #2

Potty Training the boy #2 – outings

I thought we were doing well with potty training.  I thought it was right to keep him out of nappies whilst out and about, just required more concentration (from us).  This morning at church I have rethought my thinking.

Judah is great at home, he is aware of when he needs to go, goes on the potty himself etc.  He always says what he needs when he needs to, but, when we are out somewhere exciting he just switches off his brain and doesn’t mind going in his pants and being wet as he plays. *sigh*

Fortunately there are many other mothers at church to ask advice from, but this morning, as he had just had an accident in the play area I found myself whining to Elaine, who my brain then processed teaches Childcare at college.  Aha I thought, you will know about this, and I asked her advice.

After speaking to Elaine I have decided that I don’t want this to be a hard time for Judah, I want it to be as easy as he has been doing at home, so will return to using pull-ups when out and about and then he can use the toilet as and when he remembers and I don’t need to keep taking suitcases (exaggeration but not much) full of spares to places like church, the park, or soft play.

I think sometimes as mums we can care too much about how well others “perceive” us to be doing.  I feel like I’m not obviously potty training my child if he has nappies on when we’re out and about, but I need to remember, this is about Judah, his success, not mine.

He is doing really well, and he is the one who decided he was ready.  He is the one who takes himself off at home.  Yes, I ask him many times if he needs to go, and I’m consistent with it (there are far fewer accidents on my watch than Daddy’s) but really this is all about him learning independently, not me teaching him.  He has seen us go to the toilet, and his older sisters but that is as far as it goes for me teaching him.  He is the only one who can learn how it feels in his bladder/tummy when he needs to go, and how much time he has to get to the potty when he experiences that feeling.  He is the one who needs to communicate when he wants to go.  He only turned 2 six weeks ago so I need to remember to not feel like a failure all the time as it’s not really about me at all.

So, I will keep posting about how things are going and working out for us (or not), so you can see if this approach would work for you or not.

From one slightly less frustrated Mummy (hoping the relief in my choice will set in soon), thanks for reading.  As always comments and suggestions are always appreciated.

Alexandra

Xxx
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Potty Training the boy #1

Potty Training the boy #1

When I potty trained Shayla-Rae, thanks to our blended family set-up, there had been so many back and forths, it went on for months as we couldn’t reach a point of mutual decision on how we would do it.  The ‘other mummy’ as the girls call their Mum didn’t really want to do it and wasn’t sure she was ready. Finally after Judah was born (3 weeks old to be exact) we went to Butlins and were fortunate to have the girls for 11 days straight and I just thought, ‘right that’s it, we’ve been at this for ages’ and just took no nappies with us.

The girls at Butlins 2012

Shayla was a couple of months away from turning 3 and more than ready.  Aside from an unfortunate code brown incident in the swimming pool, which according to the lifeguard is quite normal (I was horrified) at Butlins, and some mysterious rabbit droppings (that apparently belonged to no-one) appearing in the bedroom one morning (yak) we were home and dry by the end of the week.

I have been informed that boys are usually later than girls so hadn’t expected to even be having the conversation about whether we should potty train Judah yet before his 2nd birthday, but, I guess as he sees his older sisters and us using the toilet and he is an observant child, he kept asking.

I procrastinated as I was not having a good time hormonally and figured it would be crazy to pile on any more pressure but eventually gave in and bought a potty and a seat for on top of the loo, as I was starting to feel like I was mean Mommy not allowing my child to potty train when he was asking.

I started to read up on various different techniques and thought we would have a go.  The first day was great, we just went for the bare-bum approach and had multiple successes that resulted in stickers, but we needed to go out for the evening and I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed or on show at our friends home so we caved and stuck a nappy on him.

Day two I was exhausted and had a severe headache.  Now us mum’s know there is no such thing as a day off, I was on my own with 2 babies and was trying to make sure Judah’s potty training journey was about success and not failure.  I was struggling to keep my eyes open so led down on the sofa, once I’d made sure they were safe to play.  Eden was in her MAGIC astro bouncer, Judah roaming around, but I had visions of him pooing on me as I accidentally fell asleep (obviously I didn’t fall asleep) so I just stuck a nappy on him just incase.  Feeling like a failure as we mothers do, I apologised to my husband for failing in our venture when he returned from work.  He was just finishing out his last social work placement and told me to just leave it til his university course was finished and to stop fretting.  So we did.

I was then advised by a friend as I felt mean stopping his progress, to just buy him pull pjs and leave the potty around.  This I did, and one week, it seemed as though Judah potty trained himself.  Getting a number two in the potty with Shayla was a MASSIVE deal, she would hold it in for days then when we would put a nappy on (if we were going out somewhere like a wedding where we didn’t want any accidents) she would go.  I expected it to be a big thing for Judah too, so like with Shayla we promised him a teddy of his choosing for the triumphant day when he did a number 2 on the potty.  I thought this would mark the pinnacle and finalisation of the potty training but with Judah it came much easier.  He just took himself to the potty and went for it.  Then demanded a minion teddy which I promptly ordered from Amazon next day delivery.

So this is where we are up to.  He seems to want to do it himself but not completely.  We had a triumphant day out with just underpants and no nappy at the soft play, but we then pushed our luck and went to visit a local nursery.  Judah stayed in the class he would be in as we looked round and had the time of his life but also wet himself three times in an hour which has put me off pushing it on him myself.  So nappies were back today. Boo, feel like a failure again.

I am definitely up for advice and tips, but thought if we journal the process it may help others with what not to do also.

Tomorrow is another day and we will see where it takes us.

Feel free to comment below any suggestions or recommended reading for us.

Thanks

Alexandra (& Judah)

Xxx

One for when Judah graduates

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