Potty Training the boy #3
Potty Training the boy #3
18 Days of Summer #4
Today was quite relaxed, we’re on a very tight budget for a few days, so we decided to make a picnic and go to the seafront and play football. I had planned to do pancakes for the children in the morning, but Nana had beat me to it before I’d had chance to finish breastfeeding the baby, they were up and munching away.
Eden loved her first pancakes, I so enjoy watching her eating things for the first time or just in general, she just loves her food. It’s such a pleasure to see people delight in something that brings them happiness, and when that person is your little baby, you can’t help but gush.
After breakfast we all got ready, the girls chose their hairstyles of the day from Cute Girls Hairstyles. They are absolutely crazy about this website, Isis practices them herself on Shayla. They love when we have the time for them to choose a style and I have to try and recreate it. Today’s choice from Shayla was a nice easy one compared to yesterday, mini braids going into a braid, and Isis had the Dutch Flower Braid.
Once we were all ready, my Mum and I prepared a quick picnic and we headed out for the day. They just love being outside so much, they are so happy whilst being able to just run free in the sunshine. Judah was exceptionally excited about going to the beach, running round screaming ‘Yay, I like it beach!’ He’s still potty training so we took the potty along with us.
They had fun playing and then Judah started to get tired. We decided to put him in the pram (he didn’t like this) and go for a walk around the lake. At the other side of the lake there’s a playground area where the girls had fun with their Daddy whilst the monkey prince and the baby slept.
They love having quality time with their Daddy. It’s so nice when he’s able to be off to hang around with them too. They’re just silly together. I love this video they made which just reminds me of James so much. He’s always on about having powers.
Potty Training the boy #2 – outings
I thought we were doing well with potty training. I thought it was right to keep him out of nappies whilst out and about, just required more concentration (from us). This morning at church I have rethought my thinking.
Judah is great at home, he is aware of when he needs to go, goes on the potty himself etc. He always says what he needs when he needs to, but, when we are out somewhere exciting he just switches off his brain and doesn’t mind going in his pants and being wet as he plays. *sigh*
Fortunately there are many other mothers at church to ask advice from, but this morning, as he had just had an accident in the play area I found myself whining to Elaine, who my brain then processed teaches Childcare at college. Aha I thought, you will know about this, and I asked her advice.
After speaking to Elaine I have decided that I don’t want this to be a hard time for Judah, I want it to be as easy as he has been doing at home, so will return to using pull-ups when out and about and then he can use the toilet as and when he remembers and I don’t need to keep taking suitcases (exaggeration but not much) full of spares to places like church, the park, or soft play.
I think sometimes as mums we can care too much about how well others “perceive” us to be doing. I feel like I’m not obviously potty training my child if he has nappies on when we’re out and about, but I need to remember, this is about Judah, his success, not mine.
He is doing really well, and he is the one who decided he was ready. He is the one who takes himself off at home. Yes, I ask him many times if he needs to go, and I’m consistent with it (there are far fewer accidents on my watch than Daddy’s) but really this is all about him learning independently, not me teaching him. He has seen us go to the toilet, and his older sisters but that is as far as it goes for me teaching him. He is the only one who can learn how it feels in his bladder/tummy when he needs to go, and how much time he has to get to the potty when he experiences that feeling. He is the one who needs to communicate when he wants to go. He only turned 2 six weeks ago so I need to remember to not feel like a failure all the time as it’s not really about me at all.
So, I will keep posting about how things are going and working out for us (or not), so you can see if this approach would work for you or not.
From one slightly less frustrated Mummy (hoping the relief in my choice will set in soon), thanks for reading. As always comments and suggestions are always appreciated.
Potty Training the boy #1
When I potty trained Shayla-Rae, thanks to our blended family set-up, there had been so many back and forths, it went on for months as we couldn’t reach a point of mutual decision on how we would do it. The ‘other mummy’ as the girls call their Mum didn’t really want to do it and wasn’t sure she was ready. Finally after Judah was born (3 weeks old to be exact) we went to Butlins and were fortunate to have the girls for 11 days straight and I just thought, ‘right that’s it, we’ve been at this for ages’ and just took no nappies with us.
Shayla was a couple of months away from turning 3 and more than ready. Aside from an unfortunate code brown incident in the swimming pool, which according to the lifeguard is quite normal (I was horrified) at Butlins, and some mysterious rabbit droppings (that apparently belonged to no-one) appearing in the bedroom one morning (yak) we were home and dry by the end of the week.
I have been informed that boys are usually later than girls so hadn’t expected to even be having the conversation about whether we should potty train Judah yet before his 2nd birthday, but, I guess as he sees his older sisters and us using the toilet and he is an observant child, he kept asking.
I procrastinated as I was not having a good time hormonally and figured it would be crazy to pile on any more pressure but eventually gave in and bought a potty and a seat for on top of the loo, as I was starting to feel like I was mean Mommy not allowing my child to potty train when he was asking.
I started to read up on various different techniques and thought we would have a go. The first day was great, we just went for the bare-bum approach and had multiple successes that resulted in stickers, but we needed to go out for the evening and I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed or on show at our friends home so we caved and stuck a nappy on him.
Day two I was exhausted and had a severe headache. Now us mum’s know there is no such thing as a day off, I was on my own with 2 babies and was trying to make sure Judah’s potty training journey was about success and not failure. I was struggling to keep my eyes open so led down on the sofa, once I’d made sure they were safe to play. Eden was in her MAGIC astro bouncer, Judah roaming around, but I had visions of him pooing on me as I accidentally fell asleep (obviously I didn’t fall asleep) so I just stuck a nappy on him just incase. Feeling like a failure as we mothers do, I apologised to my husband for failing in our venture when he returned from work. He was just finishing out his last social work placement and told me to just leave it til his university course was finished and to stop fretting. So we did.
I was then advised by a friend as I felt mean stopping his progress, to just buy him pull pjs and leave the potty around. This I did, and one week, it seemed as though Judah potty trained himself. Getting a number two in the potty with Shayla was a MASSIVE deal, she would hold it in for days then when we would put a nappy on (if we were going out somewhere like a wedding where we didn’t want any accidents) she would go. I expected it to be a big thing for Judah too, so like with Shayla we promised him a teddy of his choosing for the triumphant day when he did a number 2 on the potty. I thought this would mark the pinnacle and finalisation of the potty training but with Judah it came much easier. He just took himself to the potty and went for it. Then demanded a minion teddy which I promptly ordered from Amazon next day delivery.
So this is where we are up to. He seems to want to do it himself but not completely. We had a triumphant day out with just underpants and no nappy at the soft play, but we then pushed our luck and went to visit a local nursery. Judah stayed in the class he would be in as we looked round and had the time of his life but also wet himself three times in an hour which has put me off pushing it on him myself. So nappies were back today. Boo, feel like a failure again.
I am definitely up for advice and tips, but thought if we journal the process it may help others with what
not to do also.
Tomorrow is another day and we will see where it takes us.
Feel free to comment below any suggestions or recommended reading for us.
Alexandra (& Judah)